Quiet Strength- Wordful Wednesday

This is not my grandmother. Both mine are with Jesus. I am actually not related to this lady at all. She is a very close friend of my husband's family and one of the coolest people I have ever known. She is 89 and still single but has had the richest of lives. She graduated from my alma mater (Wheaton College) in 1942. She started a nursing school in South Africa where she lived for years. She co-founded a nation-wide club for kids that encourages bible learning and teaching the next generation how to follow in Christ's footsteps. She is open-minded, inspiring, stays up to date on the happenings of the world, in amazing health. She speaks with the voice of experience and wisdom that makes me want to sit and listen. And that is just what I do. Anytime I am near her, I just want to sit. She has a quiet strength. She is not pushy or attention-seeking. She is confident in who God created her to be and the plan He has for her life. Even now, she weekly tutors immigrants in English and pours herself into the lives of others because that is what she knows God wants her to do at this moment.
Her strength very clearly comes from a source outside her. She doesn't pretend to know it all or be able to do it all. And yet, she knows so much and has touched so many lives. Including mine. I think she is just amazing.

I spend so much of my life trying to order things and figure out how to make my life fit or make sense. What should I do to give my life purpose, meaning, worth? How can I make my mark on the world and be seen as successful and important? It only takes 2minutes of talking with Louise to make all of that seem so temporary. She tells me my boys are beautiful, all 3. She tells me how great it is that God has given me the skills and knowledge to work as a nurse and help people in that way. She tells me I am strong to have lived through what I have and that my life is such a witness of God's grace and love.

Yes. Thank you, Louise. Thank you for your example of the quiet strength that God gives. Thank you for helping me see things in proper perspective. Thank you for giving your life in service to God and inspiring me to see my life as the same.
I don't get my worth from external things. My boys are the most important way I will leave my mark on this world. I get my worth from being a child of the King and no where else.

She is so strong and makes me feel strong.

For more Wordful Wednesday, visit Angie at Seven Clown Circus.


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Straight from the Mind and the Mouth of my 3yr.old

I have mentioned before that Lucas has a rather large vocabulary for his age. His pediatrician told us at his last visit that he is using words that her 4th grader is learning in school. He is just a very verbal kid. Daily, the things that come out of his mouth never cease to make me laugh, make me smile, and yet also make me incredibly frustrated. Ah, to be the mother of a three yr. old! :)
I thought I might share with you just a few of the funny things he said just today....
(photo: Lucas trying on sunglasses at Target today)

At breakfast this morning, I asked him if he had fun at his Aunt Keke's baby shower yesterday.
"Yes," he said, "but it was kinda crazy there. Everyone was running around and it was very loud. It was complete pandemonium!" (He learned that phrase from a book, and it was mostly him that was running around and being loud at the shower!)

At lunch, he asked me if I was his friend. "Of course I am! We are the best of friends!" I replied. "Actually Mommy," he said, "You are the mommy and I am your son. We aren't really friends. That just gets complicated." Oh, how right he is. :)

Later he was sitting on the potty (can you tell we have most of our talks over meals or potty-related moments?). He had gone some poop already but wanted to sit there for a few minutes to try and go more. After a few minutes, I asked him if he was ready to get down. "Well Mommy, I have more poops that needs to come out. The poops belong in the potty. That is their home. The problem is, the poops is so big and I have a very little bottom. And sometimes, the poops are not ready to come out. Maybe they are having breakfast up there or something. That's why sometimes it can be kinda hard to get the poops out." TMI! (sorry for the potty talk- it goes with my territory these days).

These are just a few examples of the hillarious things he comes up with. Or maybe I am the only one who finds him so funny. Either way, he brightens my day.... every day!


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Cherishing Wet Cuddles and Other Priceless Memories

We have this sweet tradition in our house. Hubby is usually in charge of bathtime. He puts the boys in the tub while I put away laundry or clean up toys or just straighten out a bit of the chaos of the day. Caden is usually ready to get out first. So I scoop up my baby in his adorable duck towel and dry him off and get him ready for bed while Lucas plays longer in the bath. (sidenote- there is not much sweeter than fresh-out-of-the-tub baby cheeks, both sets!) Hubby gets Lucas out of the tub and wraps him in his Spiderman towel. This is where the sweetness comes in. Lucas comes out of the bathroom, into his room where I am sitting with Caden, and climbs into my lap. "Here's your clean boy!" he innocently says through the biggest of grins. We call it our post-bath cuddle, and I can't get enough. He is wet, and gets me all wet as he rests his head on my chest and snuggles close. It is the longest stretch he stays still all day. I love having him in my lap and smelling his clean wet hair. I love wrapping my arms around him and renewing that closeness that we have always cherished. He is all at once my baby and my "big boy," but mostly just mine. Tonight he told me for the first time that he wanted to marry me (*melt*). (another sidenote- he told me we had to dance and then buy a couch and that was our wedding! HA!)
As I sit there and hold him, the moment is not lost on me. I close my eyes and drink it in. I know the day will come (probably sooner than I know) when he won't want to sit wet in a towel in my lap. So for now, I cherish those 5min. of our day.

We recently received a book from Tyndale Kids that echos this same sentiment. Let Me Hold You Longer by Karen Kingsbury is the story of a mom who is looking back on the memorable moments of her son's life and looking forward to what is coming soon. While reflecting on the cuddle times and favorite memories, she asks the question "would I have paid more attention or cherished the moment longer if I had known it was the last time?" The last night-time feeding, the last trip to the park, the last story time with him cuddled in my lap...
The book is written to be read to your little ones. The language is beautiful and touching and hits very close to home. I got teary several times as I sat and read the tender words to Lucas with him sitting next to me, his hand sweetly resting on my arm listening intently to the story. I loved the pictures of this mother and son through the years- the moments they shared as they both grew older. Reading this book helps me reflect on how Lucas has grown so far and reminds me to drink in every moment with him and Caden every day.
I am not a fan of thinking about Lucas and Caden growing up too fast. It makes me sad to think about them being too big for post-bath cuddles. But I also appreciate any opportunity to be reminded to live in the moment, to treasure these days that often feel so hard.

The last time when you ran to me, still small enough to hold.
The last time that you said you'd marry me when you grew old.
Precious, simple moments and bright flashes from your past-
Would I have held on longer if I'd known they were your last?

If you would like a copy of this book to read with your fast-growing munchkins, Tyndale has generously offered to let me give away a copy to one of you. Please leave a comment here making sure I have a way to contact you if you win. If you subscribe to my feed or blog or tweet this giveaway, leave an extra comment for an extra entry. I will choose a winner at random on Friday July 3rd (U.S. readers only- sorry!).
We have loved reading this book together and talking about our most cherished moments both past and present and future. I know you will love doing the same.

This giveaway is cross-posted at Dupage Mamas: Guiding Our Kids through Our Community.

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Mondays are for the Birds

I'm not really sure what that phrase, "for the birds," means in general. But at my house, it has meant drama. Lots of drama.

Let's start with last Monday....
After feeding the boys breakfast, I went against my better judgment and went to the bathroom by myself. Not completely by myself mind you. Caden was in there with me. But at least Lucas was playing in the living room and I got to close the door. When I came out after the 30-45seconds it takes me to pee, I smelled something a little funny. I turned to see that Lucas had turned on our gas fireplace. No big deal, right? Just turn it off, you say.... Well, unfortunately some unsuspecting birds had built their nest in the fireplace exhaust vent on the outside of the house. That funny smell I noticed was the twigs and leaves burning, yes burning, on the outside of my townhouse. It took approx. 1min for my whole living room and backyard to fill with smoke. Just long enough for me to send Hubby a text message asking if I should let it burn out or if I needed to involve the fire department. The answer to that became quite clear when it smelled like I was having a bonfire in my living room and I couldn't see the fence out our window due to all the thick smoke. So, I called. And 5min later, sirens and all, 5 firemen arrived in full gear in my living room. They extinguished the birds' nest, cleaned out the vent, and prodded around the fireplace and the attic making sure there was no other sparks anywhere.
My little pyro 3yr old watched in awe with his fire hat on his head as real firefighters tramped through his playroom and in his house (making quite a mess I might add). Lucas thought it was so-very-cool and mama was just happy the house didn't burn down. Oh, the drama.

That brings us to today and more bird-related drama. On a walk last weekend, we noticed that a baby goose at our near-by pond seemed a little injured. Something was stuck on his back. I was worried but thought it would just work itself out. Then yesterday, we visited the pond again to see that he had gotten much worse and had lost use of one of his legs and wings and was having some real issues. So this morning, like a woman on a mission, I started calling around to find someone to help this poor gosling. Animal Care and Control told me they would only send out an agent if I would "trap" the goose with a garbage can or a laundry basket. Seriously?!?! How am I gonna catch a little goose with mama goose right there waiting to peck me to death? Isn't that why we have things like animal control? So I called a local wildlife rescue center and they too told me that I would have to catch the little guy and bring him to them. Foolishly, I convinced Hubby to go down to the pond with me and we tried to catch this goose. Tried. It wouldn't come anywhere close to me and his mama was, as expected, very protective. Oh, well. I tried. But, I couldn't let it go. It was heart-breaking to see this little guy hurting and unable to get around. I started making more calls and ended up talking to this lady with the Chicago Bird Collision Monitors, a branch of the Chicago Audubon Society. They rescue 2000 birds a year and she was more than willing to come help me rescue this little gosling. To make a very long story short, it took me and two professionals and a few other men from the neighborhood almost 2 hours but we eventually caught the injured goose and took him to the wildlife rescue center for some medical attention. You should have seen me and these two ladies in their 50s running around the pond trying to herd these geese and get the baby close enough to be caught by their 10ft. net. Probably pretty hilarious to bystanders. But in the end, we caught him and I am feeling pretty proud of myself that I stuck it out and didn't quit until I found someone to help me rescue this injured animal. He had a make-shift dart made from a McDonalds straw lodged in his back under his wing. They think he'll be ok but it depends if he gets use back of his right wing and leg. Poor guy.

So those are my bird-drama stories. Hopefully now my bird karma is all even and next monday is free of any aviary issues.


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A Need for Love

If you have been around the blogsphere or twitter at all today, you have heard about this story. I didn't even know about this blog until today. And boy, am I glad. I know it was God's way of sparing me the emotional manipulation. I did read about it last night, but I had no idea the extent of the deception that this woman manufactured until I read this Chicago Trib article today.

My first reaction- rage! How could this Chicago suburbs (she is from Palos Heights) woman fake this tragedy that is SO REAL for SO MANY people? She played on the empathy and emotion of mothers who have walked through similar heartache all in the name of getting the attention. The Trib reports that she did receive donations and gifts but they can't confirm if she benefited financially from the whole hoax. That doesn't matter to me. What makes me so infuriated is that she took a situation that I have lived through, that LOTS of people have lived through, and turned into a big game. It is not a game. The pain is real. The grief, the anxiety, the depth of sadness that you almost can't escape... all very real.

Once I had the chance to sit with this for a bit, my next reaction is just plain sadness. Sad for her. Sad for all the people that made the effort to support her even if it brought back the pain of their own grief. What must this girl's life be like that she would have to create such an elaborate scam to get the attention and love she needs? The Trib article also reports that she did lose a baby in 2005. SO she does know this pain. Which makes it even worse to me that she exploited it in this way. She must have a void, an emotional void, a deep need to be loved and appreciated and valued.

I don't know what disturbs me more, what this lady did or why she did it. Or, that I can see pieces of myself in her. I do know that feeling of wanting everyone to share in my grief or just acknowledge that what I was/am feeling is real. I also know the desire to have attention showered on me and to feel like I have something to give that other people thing is worth something. I too have a deep need to be loved and valued and appreciated. Most of us do in some way or another. But, thankfully and by God's grace, I have people in my life that love me and value me and appreciate me. Maybe not all the time or perfectly well. But I know that I am loved. And although my blog does not get 100,000 hits/day (as her was) or anywhere even in that ballpark, I can't get my worth from that. And even when the things I do to try to get attention or make something out of myself don't elicit the response from others that I was maybe hoping for, I can only be myself and learn to be content with that.

This girl, "April's Mom," did a really horrible thing. But she did it to fill a very real need. And I get that. I hate what she did. It still makes me very mad. But, I also want to find her and give her a hug. I'm sure she feels horrible now that the truth is out and she is getting all this negative press. I have done things too that I am not proud of. Most people have if they are being honest. So, I forgive her as a way of continuing the healing process in me. My grief is not lessened by what she did. Nor is hers. And for that, she needs my prayers and not my rage.


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Boys and Tupperware

Look how different my boys look!! At least to me...

Caden 10 monthsLucas 10 months

Some things never change....

Lucas 11 months

Lucas 3years

Brotherly instruction....

"Here Caden, let a pro teach you how it is done."

I think he's getting the hang of it. :)

For more Wordful Wednesday, visit Angie at Seven Clown Circus.

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Playing in the Backyard

Quality Time with my Boys.... I can't think of a better way to spend my time.







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